Monday, January 13, 2014

Brilliance




  One never grows accustomed to the miraculous introduction to a newly created life ...and certainly never to the disappointment of a dream.
                                                And whether that life is planned or expected or a complete surprise, 
                     there begins to grow a dream right along with the dividing of cells, first beat of a heart, and tiny limbs.

I didn't see it coming.  How a short period in that early Springtime would leave an eternal imprint on my life.

Seven children under 12, living in a remote cabin, a positive pregnancy test, wonder, and a host of unanswerable questions.  
This was taking some digesting.  But it was good.  I was blessed again.

Only for a couple days.
Then bleeding.

Not long after that I sat on the edge of the our lake in the mountains, trying to grasp what I could not see.
Would never in this life see.

Did that wondrous marvel of a tiny life really even exist?  Everything spoke yes.
My belief {sometimes built on things tangible} doubted.

I needed a name.  A stone must be placed on the alter.
This sparkle must not be lost in the swamp of a busy life and needy people
and moments that stack on moments and bury moments I doubted the existence of in the first place.

The sun set lower.
Always right before it dips behind the mountain bowl which holds this tranquil lake, the water is set on fire.
It dances.
It sparkles.
It has a life of its own in the last fleeting light of day.

It is absolutely brilliant.

The perfect name for my Beloved one who did indeed exist though we haven't met: 
Brilliance.

Just exactly as pictured in the photo above, her life touched mine with brightness 
even if if for a hardly-noticed period of time.  

When the sun was setting and the waters gently stirred, 
magnificent and fleeting brilliance met my eye and touched my heart.

Ever so brief was our time together, but life danced in fiery sparks on the water and I know.
I'll meet my Brilliance one day.


Heaven looks more lovely all the time.

*****

Unto the upright there ariseth light in the darkness: 
he is gracious, and full of compassion, and righteous. 
Psalm 112:4

********************************************

{Written in honor of my beloved and very tiny Brilliance who graced our family with her life for a too-short season in Spring of 2012 ~ 
I love you dearest.  I can't wait to hold you!}





3 comments:

SarahS said...

<3

My siblings and I just had a brief discussion (shortly before the first anniversary of Dad's passing), via facebook, wondering how many grandchildren Dad is playing with in heaven. We know of three for certain. I think there may be a couple more possible miscarriages as well. It helped, a little, to think of our loves there together.

Momma Bug said...

Heaven is going to be unspeakably awesomely wonderful! It's a little hard for our brains to comprehend, but I believe it with all my heart and hope.

I love you friend.

Diane said...

Thinking of you sis. I sure miss you. Love you!